‘You don’t care about family, you know nothing about people who have family’ was the kind of words I heard from a guy whose company I was a director of, I was shocked. Nothing wrong had been done technically but here is guy losing his mind. The company did not have enough revenue, or he was trying to cut me out of his firm, I was not sure what’s the real reason. He named it True Mathematics (something like that) because it was supposed be a well oiled Data Science company, but now like every one he survives by offering some Sales Force solutions I think. Even people who worked under me earn more than his entire office that too just by coding from bed.

I was once prompted by my friend about vector Data Base, I analyzed it and thought won’t it be great if we there are only $x$ number of vector operations, and we can store large volumes of data on a single silicon, why can’t we have databases baked into FPGA’s and chips and connected to cloud, this will make stuff efficient. My friend studied with me in college, I studied Electronics & communication, and he Computer Science. I was trying to bake idea for a startup into his mind so that I can use his office to get a patent, where we can stipulate vector processors and sell the IP’s to interested companies, and to my dismay I found out that my friend who is a qualified engineer did not know about VHDL, FPGA and so on. It was like visiting a doctor who just knows to prescribe medicine for fever and never knew about Covid, Nipah and so on. ‘I just know about Python and Java’ said my friend (or something similar to it), and it stunned me.

I was put into a college that was started by an illegal liquor seller, I still fume about how crappy education was and lament to my friends, but to my friends the college was great even though all it did was to train us to be “yes boss” person than to be thinkers. I was stunned my friends accepted this fate.

There seem to be a divide between people, people seem to either seek perfection or survival as their value, in real life its fuzzy. In real life I do use technologies that I would never use for my startup because I am paid to use, I do not open my mouth at work because my strong opinions could burn bridges, I kill animals and eat it though I know it causes pain and suffering, but at my core I seek perfection. What hurts me from decades before, or one or two jobs before makes me seek a better way of coding, better way of managing projects, better way of talking tech to younglings, to coach people and so on, but for many people just survival seems to be their core value.

For survivors its just making ends meet till the month end, putting up a great show before friends and relatives in a function, sharing statuses that are void and bogus, and just carrying on with life and not seeking truth, in fact to live in the comfort of ignorance seem to be the value.

Until recent days I did have very low value about people who did not seek perfection. I considered God believers, drunks, smokers, drug takers, corrupt, rapist, survivors as very low people, but then wait, I began to think about my friend’s history. Have I gone hungry like them? Have I been in deep financial trouble like them? Do I have people in my family who make my life hell? Do I stay in a job which has bad boss? Has any tragedy ever struck me? Am I surrounded by foxes and jackals? The answer is no for all questions. But these people have faced it, and some are facing it. To face it and to survive in it and if lucky they have come out of it is itself a great achievement, this traumatized soul of theirs think its better just to survive and not to fall into abyss. For me having not worrying about many problems in life has opened my mind to seek what’s next and what’s perfect. May be if I faced problems like them, maybe I would be a corrupt, a drunk, a mere survivor who just lets time pass by without seeking perfection. Maybe I would be far worst psychopath than others when troubled, who knows?

I need to cultivate more of an Ubuntu way of thought to understand about the world.