I am consulting for a company now in Python web development. My team is in a state where it does not know what HTTP 500 error is. That too one is 10 year experienced developer and another is 4. I raised an alarm that we may not make it this sprint, and what I get as a reward? It was told to me that I am been projected as a great guy who will fix things up, a kind of guy who will not fail, a kind of Rommel under Nazi’s and hence I must make things to work. I was told I am granted all powers which means I can torture any one I want to get things done. Thats far far away from who I am.

These type of expectations put me down. I know who and what I am more than anyone else (may be Google knows more as it spies on me all time) and I know my capabilities, I know my laziness and how an hurricane would not move me when I am lazy. I know what I can do and what I cannot. And some one places a blind expectation on me and that person controls my earnings I surely don’t know what to do.

Its not just in profession, its in society. A engineering mishap in my street led to water stagnation. Some one had built an elevated barrier that obstructs the flow of rain water to nearby pond. People in my street came up with an idiotic idea for flood prevention, by elevating our road which would give us dry land but just would push this problem further. When I pointed out we need a drain and not more barrier I became a villain, but few people realized my logic and told me to run for elections! Damn!!! I ain’t do this for power and popularity, I am just raising a problem that my common sense put up to me. Thats it!!!

And not just society too, my family thinks I am a superman, some one who can do my office work, attend family functions and a person like Gandhi who lives for others than myself. Months ago my refusal to attend a family function led to a torrent of blames and politics. People simply fail to grasp its not wise to attend a function 100’s of kilometers away that too on an inconvenient time. My request to attend function on another day at a good time that suits me was rejected and I was villanized.

Frankly I don’t know what to do with these humans. They constantly need me to boost up their image and wealth. They would trade my brand shamelessly for their gains. I feel I am becoming more of a show piece, a piece of carbon thats been called a diamond and sold for millions when I am just what I am. I am a man who loves to live in peace, not any more, not any less.